The Glitch

Episode One

The players begin to arrive on the scene, one by one.

First comes Mario, via warp pipe.
Second comes Link, via Ocarina warp song.
Third comes Kirby, floating across the desert.
Fourth comes Samus Aran, walking calmly toward the meeting point.
Fifth comes Mega Man, flying across the open sands.
Sixth comes Ash Ketchum, riding Charizard.
Seventh comes Donkey Kong, galloping and pounding his chest.
Eighth comes Banjo, using Kazooie to fly him.
Ninth comes Fox McCloud, in an Arwing. The Arwing accidentally shoots a bomb and blows a crater into the ground.
Tenth comes Bomberman, who trips into the crater created by the Arwing bomb, stumbles, and accidentally drops a bomb into the crater, making the crater even deeper.

All of the players meet each other and form a sort of circle as they stand in the desert of Amarillo, Texas. After talking to each other and generally saying hello (many players are shaking hands, or paws, in the cases of Banjo and Donkey Kong), a helicopter flies over head. The copter lands and Toad walks over to the group.
TOAD: "You have all been waiting for this day since you were told that you would be on this show. Get ready for a mental and physical challenge that you will never forget. As you already know, you will be given the chance to complete team challenges. Each team challenge will be worth a certain amount of a yearly pay raise. If the team completes all of the challenges, then the pay raise to win at the end will be worth one-million dollars per year. However, each two days you will all take a quiz about The Glitch. The Glitch is the traitor to the team that we have put in the game. The person who scores the least on the quiz will immediately be sent to their homeworld. Are you ready to play The Glitch?"
ALL PLAYERS: "Yeah, sure, why not."
TOAD: "OK, then if you'll follow me, we will go to the first test."

The players are taken to an airfield warehouse, where they are briefed by Toad.
TOAD: "We are going take you all up in a big jumbo jet. If you all jump out of the plane and skydive, then we will put a start of $50,000 into the group pot. Sound good?"
DONKEY KONG: "I don't know about this. I'm not sure if a parachute is going to hold up my heavy body. I'm just not sure about this."
EVERYBODY ELSE: "C'mon, please? Just close your eyes and jump out."

They all get in the plane, even though Donkey Kong is still hesitant. Once they are high enough, they start to jump out one at a time. They all have a Mushroom retainer to help them reach the landing point. They begin to jump: Mario, Link, Samus Aran, Banjo, Fox McCloud, Mega Man, Bomberman (who's parachute rips, allowing him to fall to the ground and explode), Kirby. Donkey Kong? He's still up there!
MARIO: "That stupid gorilla. Scared of falling. What a wimp."
SAMUS ARAN: "I hope that guy jumps. I don't wanna lose $50,000."
BOMBERMAN: "Ouch. I've got bruises in places that I didn't know I had. Why'd it have to be MY parachute that ripped?"

Eventually, Donkey Kong comes down.
DONKEY KONG: "No sweat."
LINK: "It was nice to see all of the players work to get Donkey Kong to come down. He sacrificed his fear of the parachute ripping (sniff) for the rest of the team. What a guy."

The players are then gathered together on another plane and taken to an airport, where Toad tells them to get on the flight marked "?". They all get on the flight and await their next destination.
They arrive a couple hours later in Mexico City, Mexico. Toad meets them at luggage checkout and briefs them.
TOAD: "You will spend the night here in the heart of Mexico at some classy hotel in the area. You will have the whole night to walk around, but if you are not all back in the hotel by 10:00 PM tonight, you will be fined $10,000. OK? See you back at the hotel!"

The players begin to walk through the city.
MARIO: "Why'd-a they put us in Mexico? All these-a people with sombreros kind of scare me."
LINK: "I don't know, but we might as well have a plan. So, are we gonna be good characters and get back in time?"
MEGA MAN: "Why are we wasting time talking? Let's have some fun! I'm gonna go get a taco…do they have those Zesty Fiesta Burritos here?"
SAMUS ARAN: "Probably not, Mega Man. Taco Bell isn't the real thing…they've probably got some real Mexican food around here."

The characters roam around the city until 9:30, then realize that they better get back. Ash Ketchum gets out Charizard and gives them all a ride back to the hotel (Charizard accidentally eats some jalapenos from Mega Man's nachos, and burns up some guy's sombrero). The players are treated to a nice dinner with Toad at the hotel, and then they all go to bed at 12:00 PM. However, hidden cameras are put in the player's rooms to spy on them as they go to sleep.
MARIO'S ROOM: "Mama mia. That dumb Ash Ketchum and his Charizard. What idiots."
LINK'S ROOM: (Link finds the camera using his Lens of Truth and uses his Longshot to smash the camera lens)
KIRBY'S ROOM: "Food. I need more food. Mega Man wouldn't let me have some of his tacos. What a hog."
SAMUS ARAN'S ROOM: "Well, being the only girl didn't hurt me today. I wonder what tomorrow's test is going to be."
MEGA MAN'S ROOM: "Nice comfy bed. Ahhh."
ASH KETCHUM'S ROOM: "I'm starting to get the feeling that Mario doesn't like me. I mean, I did take most of his market share away from him. I might want to stay on my toes…he could be The Glitch himself."
DONKEY KONG'S ROOM: "Skydiving is scary stuff. I'm starting to get a bit suspicious of Kirby, he's being kind of quiet so far."
BANJO'S ROOM: "Mumbo Jumbo would have found this SO easy. He'd have already figured the whole game out. Samus kept looking at my pants. I knew I should have brought a longer pair!"
FOX MCCLOUD'S ROOM: "Wouldn't the guys back home at the Cornerian academy be proud? First I save the Lylat System from Andross, and then I get on this show."
BOMBERMAN'S ROOM: "I'm gonna disarm all of these bombs. I've gotten blown up by myself twice already on this game. Ouch, my back."

The players wake up at 7 AM, and are taken to a room of the hotel with ten video screens on them. Toad emerges.
TOAD: "You will all be given fifteen minutes to view selected information about your fellow players. After the fifteen minutes, you will be taken into another room, and I will give you more instructions there. Have fun memorizing!"

The screens turn on, each screen showing the face of each character and information on that character. The players walk around studying the screens intently, then after fifteen minutes, they are taken to a room with 10 chairs around a table.
TOAD: "Have a seat (players sit down, except for Donkey Kong, who cannot fit into his chair, so he stands). You have gotten a chance to study the information on the screens, and I would now like you to choose the two players who feel the most confident about their memory. The rest of you who stay here are not allowed to talk with each other."
LINK: "Who wants to go?"
SAMUS ARAN: "I think I should. I feel very confident."
KIRBY: "I'm ready. Let me do it."

The group agrees to let Samus Aran and Kirby do the test. Samus Aran and Kirby are taken to another room, and the players left in the first room are told not to talk amongst themselves. A hidden camera is in the room with all of the other players.
TOAD (in room with Samus Aran and Kirby): "You will now both be required to use your memory and this formula (shown on a monitor) in order to come up with a secret code number. This secret code number will allow you to cheat on a NES display of SimCity in a gaming store in Mexico City, and get $10,000 on the game for no apparent reason. You will also be given this map of Mexico City (hands the map to Kirby). You will have two full hours to complete the test. After you think that you have the secret code number, you may select one of the players in the other room to go help you find the store and NES display in the city. However, each extra player will cost you thirty minutes of your time. You have two cell phones so that you can call each other once one of you has left. Understand the rules? Then you may now begin."

Samus Aran and Kirby now begin to decipher the equation, which consists of numbers from the information displayed on the ten screens at the beginning of the test. They eventually come up with the code 16843. They have 1:13 left on their clock.
SAMUS ARAN: "Let's see. Kirby, now that we've got the code, do we want to 'rent' another player?"
KIRBY: "Nah, none of them speak Spanish. And I would suggest using Ash, but his Charizard will probably burn down the NES display before we get a chance to type in the code."
SAMUS ARAN: "Well, I think we should let Mega Man go."
KIRBY: "Why?"
SAMUS ARAN: "Well, he's an android, so he may have some language translating capability. I say he goes with you and I stay here just in case I find a mistake in the calculation."
KIRBY: "OK, I'll hit the road. Toad, get Mega Man and me out of here!"

Kirby and Mega Man leave the hotel on two bikes and begin the search for the NES display. They have 0:39 to find it. When they reach the 0:30 minute mark, Samus Aran calls Kirby.
SAMUS ARAN: "Have you found it yet?"
KIRBY: "No, but we think that we are close. Wait. Mega Man just found a map of the city in a store window. He's telling me that one of the shops on the map is called "Plug It In" in Spanish. OK, we're gonna try that out. Bye. (hangs up)."
SAMUS ARAN (to herself): "Well, it sounds like they're making progress. After checking over the formula once, it looks like we didn't make any follies, at least any that I could find."

0:08 MINUTES LEFTKIRBY (to Mega Man): Hey wait, there it is! That is an electronic gaming store! And there's the display! Here, I'll type in the code!"
DISPLAY SCREEN: SimCity game starts up. Kirby types in the code, and this pops up on the screen. "You have received $10,000 from unknown sources."
MEGA MAN: "YEAH! We won! (gives a high five to Samus Aran)"

Meanwhile, the whole two hours of the test, the players in the other room have been sharing opinions about the game, which was stated as being against the rules. $10,000 are deducted from the group pot.
LINK: "I just sat here the whole time. I noticed that Fox McCloud was the first one to start conversation. He kept talking to me about strategy, which is clearly a suspicious move to me."
MARIO: "Heck, why are all-a these-a people so uptight? It's OK to break-a the rules once in-a while."

All of the players go to the dining room of the hotel and have dinner. Toad is with them, and he gives them the night's speech.
TOAD: "Well, in your first two days, you've earned $65,000 of pay raise for the group. Good job. But tonight, you will lose one team member. After dinner, you will all go to your rooms and take The Glitch Quiz. The Glitch Quiz is 25 questions about The Glitch. Good luck, and we will miss whichever one of you is executed tonight."
(group repeats the well-wishes to each other)

MARIO (in front of his quiz system): "I don't really know how to take this one. After one episode, I haven't really got to know the other players. I'm just going to eat a Super Mushroom and hope that I guess well."
LINK (ditto): "They took away my Lens of Truth, so that won't help me on the quiz now. I'm just gonna take my chances and answer the questions based on my gut instinct suspect: Fox."
KIRBY (ditto again): "Samus, for some reason, insisted that I take Mega Man along on the Money Cheat test. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. Besides, how did Samus know that Mega Man could translate Spanish? That was definitely un-guessable."
SAMUS ARAN (ditto for the third time): "I'm not suspicious of Mega Man or Kirby, I know that. My experiences with them in the Money Cheat test let me know that they are probably not either The Glitch. However, Donkey Kong's hesitation on the Skydiving test could have been an early Glitch act."
MEGA MAN (I'm stopping the dittos now): "I'm sitting in front of the screen right now, and only one name keeps popping into my mind: Al Gore. I'm not sure why, but it just is. Besides that, I don't know anything about who The Glitch is. Just plain guessing.
ASH KETCHUM (the dittos are now officially stopped): "Mario is obviously a prime suspect. He's Nintendo's second biggest star (myself being the first biggest), so no one would think that someone of his reputation could be The Glitch. And that's exactly why I say that he is The Glitch."
DONKEY KONG: "Oh boy. At least there could be a good side to getting executed. I've heard news that my banana hoard has been stolen again by King K. Rool. If I get executed, then I'll be able to stop that stupid alligator from destroying all of my precious bananas."
BANJO: "I'm missing my sister and Kazooie pretty badly right now, so it'll be tough if I don't get executed. Quiz strategy? I'm definitely gonna go with one person and not guess randomly. But I'm keeping that person secret."
FOX MCCLOUD: "I'm not going to get executed, no matter what."
BOMBERMAN: "If I lose then I'm gonna put a bomb down the producers' pants and see how they like it. And if I get blown up again by myself or anything else then I'm gonna scream."

The players are brought two a room with a guillotine and ten game cartridges. Each game cartridge is the debut game of each of the ten players. Toad is standing in the middle of the room, behind the guillotine. There are two rows of five chairs, a chair for each of the players.
TOAD: "Take a seat. (players take a seat, except for Donkey Kong, who once again stays standing because his seat is too small) You have made it through your first two tests and your first quiz. Now for the execution. I will place each of your debut games under the guillotine. If the guillotine does not fall, then you have passed your first quiz. If the guillotine falls, then the cartridge with be smashed, and you will be sent home as The Glitch's first victim." (Toad walks behind the first cartridge)
TOAD: "Mario." (Toad places the cartridge under the guillotine. The guillotine does not drop. Mario smiles.)
TOAD: "Link." (Toad places the cartridge under the guillotine. The guillotine does not drop. Link smiles and turns around to look at Fox.)
TOAD: "Kirby." (Toad places the cartridge under the guillotine. The guillotine does not drop. Kirby smiles.)
TOAD: "Samus Aran." (Toad places the cartridge under the guillotine. The guillotine does not drop. Samus smiles at Mega Man.)
TOAD: "Mega Man." (Toad places the cartridge under the guillotine. The guillotine does not drop. Mega Man smiles back at Samus Aran.)
TOAD: "Ash Ketchum." (Toad places the cartridge under the guillotine. The guillotine does not drop. Ash smiles.)
TOAD: "Donkey Kong." (Toad places the cartridge under the guillotine. The guillotine drops, breaking the silence and slicing through the gray piece of software. Donkey Kong begins to yell and jump around. He picks up his chair and breaks it.)
TOAD: "You must take your bag of stuff, and leave the game immediately."
DONKEY KONG: "Shut up you dumb mushroom."

Donkey Kong is taken to a van, which he gets in with his bag, and is taken home to Kong Country.
MARIO (on Donkey Kong getting executed): "I'm not really disappointed. That stupid monkey was eventually going to mess us up.
LINK: "He risked his life on the Skydiving test so that the group could profit from it. I'm sorry to see him go."
BANJO: "It's too bad that he left. He and I could have had a certain type of pact simply because we are both animals. He will be missed."
SAMUS ARAN: "I could really care less. I'm not here to get sentimental about some big dumb gorilla. I'm here to win myself a raise, that's why I'm here. Sentiment isn't involved in playing this game."


This has been the first episode of The Glitch. Tune in next time as the remaining nine players work together to earn money, and as individuals to answer the all-important question: Who is The Glitch?